I live for honest conversations. No pretenses. No half-faced truths. No sugar-coated lies. Just open and sincere ones. The kind where you don’t have to pretend, put on an act, or censor your words. Wouldn’t it be amazing to have someone you can have that kind of conversations with? Maybe you don’t even have to talk. You just take off the mask and your face says it all.
Be profoundly intoxicated by life and everything it has to offer. Drink in the good stuff - the way summer air breathes on your skin, the good memories swimming in your mind, the laughs between you and friends, and many more. Be so brimming and full of life. Fill yourself up with strolls on the park, dances in the rain, restful nights, plethora of books, barefoot walks, endless music, and moments of selflessness. Feel the life under your skin, in your veins, in your lungs, and exhale. Then repeat.
Sometimes at night, I think about everything that has happened, that has yet to happen, and that may never will happen. I wonder if I could somehow walk through the door and never come back. If embracing uncertainty would stop the past from haunting me. If my heart can shatter into thousands of pieces and scatter all over the world; that maybe they’ll fall into the cracks on sidewalks of places my feet long to trudge on. What becomes of those lost. Will they ever be found. If knowing will ever be enough. If the world will ever make sense. Does it even have to make sense. What makes fear so fearless in its attacks against us. If I could find home somewhere between moonlight and rain. Does a death of a star cause neighboring stars to cry; maybe that’s why others shine even brighter at night. What happens to bravery once the deed is done. If you don’t know what to say, does that still say something. Are labels meant to question your beliefs or theirs. If home means nothing but two arms holding you tight when you’re at your worst, is it still home if the arms offer you cold rather than warm. Can I see the life oozing in my veins. Do I want to.
First day of classes went well earlier. My professors were great, but tomorrow is when I’ll have my other two classes that I’m most excited for :)
Love those who continue to fall in love you even when the mystery is gone, especially when it’s gone; because it’s the mystery that captivates people. You want to know them and figure them out. So when someone continues to love you for who you are after he/she uncovered, exposed, and read you, hold onto that person. Tightly.
First day of classes tomorrow. School is officially starting again.
There are so many beautiful things in this world. So many beautiful people. So many beautiful places. So much hope. So much love. Even though life becomes overwhelming at times. Even when it gets slightly skewed, crowded, or jaded. There are still so many things to appreciate, to love, to hold onto, and to look forward to. So maybe it’s bleak and gray sometimes. You just have to learn to look past the shadows. To search for the light. To appreciate the little things because sometimes, it’s those fragments that matter the most. The pieces washed off the shore. The bits taken for granted. It’s so simple to appreciate the things that are so big and full. The wholeness. The obvious. The ones vivid and clear. Sometimes, the ones in the shade matter too. It’s the crooked segments of life and those hazy feelings, you know? Life gets a little (or a lot) exhausting. It doesn’t have a one-way ticket to happiness. The road isn’t always paved. It’s tough and temperamental. But I’m slowly realizing that I have so many things going for me. I’m slowly opening my eyes and really seeing. Sometimes, you have to detach from your own self and realize what you’ve been doing to yourself. You have to do things that terrify you the most. You have to jump without expecting to be caught. You have to get lost and be unsure of where to go. You have to get dirty sometimes and to get scraped. Unlike most things, we don’t have to stay broken when we break. You have to know what it means to lose, to change, to move forward, and to start over. You have to taste some bitterness and figure out where the sweetness lies. You have to find beauty in even the simplest things. You have to not just open your eyes, but to wake up. You have to think about what it means to live.
Oh look, college land/my dorm room :)
You seem so nice. I hope to hear from you again, anonymously or not. But I’m going to sleep now haha, thanks for the short talk :) Have a good day tomorrow (or later, technically haha)
Oh hey, same timezone :)
I haven’t been on here for a few days, so spending some time here right now haha. Hope you’re having a good day (or night)
Not much. Just listening to music and trying to fall asleep. How about you?